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Blogathon Esame Finale

31 Jul

The weird thing was, I didn’t sleep much.

I woke up around 1:30 pm yesyerday, not really recharged but not dead to the world, either. Amanda seized this state of mind to get me to help with housework. Happy to do it… but I knew I needed more sleep. We did get the majority of work done downstairs that we needed to.

If you want to read the posts associated with Blogathon 2006, you can click this here link whenever you want.

The stuff I’m the most proud of (besides that I was able to make it through without keeling over, or only slightly bruising the posting schedule) are the video posts. I feel they added a groovy little texture to the day’s documentation.

And I may well do it again next year. If I do, two caveats: I’m not changing charities again, and will be blogging to benefit the Hello Win Column Fund; and I’m staying within five miles of home. No more galavanting around the Metroplex, or attempting to blog from a place that doesn’t have wi-fi. Madness.

You can still pledge to this year’s effort, and I hope you do.

Fin

30 Jul

A lot of people to thank for their support, kind words of encouragement, and swift kicks in the ass:

- Amanda, my rock
- Marty, the hero of the Soggy Bottom Bloggin’ Boys
- Thomas, the Breast Whisperer
- Ali, who came out to the NRH Starbucks to cheer me on
- Nathan, the man with a shop full of my toys
- Sara, for being a necessary angel
- Sheana and Colleen, for posting this picture
- Schtick participants Richard Hunter, Greg Woodson, Brent Gette, Erika Eeds, Sara & Marty (mostly for not getting irate with me when I cajoled them into writing their “first time” stories)
- Everyone who pledged to the Hello Win Column Fund
- Everyone who hasn’t pledged yet, but will when they see how much fun this was (no, really)
- Prana, my Blogathon monitor, who reminded me of the definition of “namaste”
- …and finally, you. Yeah, that’s right, you.

I’m going to bed now. I hope to be unconscious in less than three minutes.

Goodnight, farewell, amen.

Deep-Seated Twitch

30 Jul

I stopped drinking Red Bull an hour ago, knowing if I drank any more closer to closing time I would have a hard time going to sleep. Walking around doesn’t help, nor does trying to get aerobic. My body just tells me to shut the frell up and sit back down.

Right now, this is all about getting to 8:01.

I didn’t finish the story about Amanda tonight. The whole bandwidth debacle at MacHenry’s sidetracked me to the point where I couldn’t focus on good, long-form posts. i promise I won’t make El Blog readers wait until we’re married in ’07 to tell the rest of the story.

Declaring myself President sounds like such a good idea right now. I have no idea what my first presidential decree would be, but I know for a fact I would abuse the power of the office, much in the same vein Adam Carolla would have in the late, lamented Man Show segment “When I Become Supreme Ruler of Everything.”

It’s as bright outside as it can be without the sun making an appearance. The Bastard Fuzzlets are running around like goobers.

Thirty minutes to go.

Problem Child

30 Jul

Click. A few synapses went off in order, reminding me of something Amanda told me over the phone as I was making my way from Live 105.3 to MacHenry’s. I had just told her there was a bit of a traffic jam, but nothing to worry about.

“Come on… there’s something in your brain that makes you enjoy this.”

I have to wonder if she’s right. If everything went off like clockwork, all I would have to do is show up, ge the endeavor done, and go home. Boring. Put in a little adversity, a hurdle or two, an obstacle here or there… that’s where I start to get creative. Solve the problem, don’t whine about the speedbump.

The ‘Serenity’ screening went off with nary a hitch. The only thing that didn’t happen precisely as I had pre-visualized it was handing out the gift certificates for the Done The Impossible’ DVD door prizes. The problem was fixed quickly, and everyone was happy.

I hope the “find a problem, so you have to work harder to fix it” tendency doesn’t twist into other parts of my life. Something inside me tells me I’m wrong.

Tip For Staying Up Late: If you’re going to drink an energy drink like Red Bull, swish it around on your gums a bit before swallowing the first sip. the thin tissues there help for absorption.

You Belong To The Suburbs

30 Jul

As much as I idolized Don Johnson in the mid-’80s, you would think that I would have been first in line this weekend when ‘Miami Vice‘ premiered. I would have thought so as well, until I saw the trailers… and lost all interest.

If the movie had been called anything else, the lead characters been named anything other than Crockett and Tubbs, the setting been anywhere but Miami, I would have been more on board. I love crime dramas. Amanda’s got me hooked on ‘Criminal Minds,’ and I don’t mind the occasional ‘CSI’ (although I eagerly await the debut of ‘CSI: Dubuque’). Mann’s work in ‘Heat’ and ‘Collateral’ was nothing short of genius. So, why did my brain just reject the Colin Farrell / Jamie Foxx ‘Vice’ off the bat?

On a tangent (because I feel like I’m cheating you, gentle readers, if I don’t give you your half-hour’s worth), go immediately to your video store or NetFlix and get ‘Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang.’ It’s easily one of the best movies I’ve seen recently, and should not have been released and ignored by mainstream media. It’s damned funny, pretty smart, and wholly entertaining.

There’s light coming in the window from outside. Not much longer, now.

I Choose To Act

30 Jul

You get to a point doing the Blogathon where it’s not about creativity anymore, but about endurance. “All I have to do is make it through another two hours, and I’m home free. Five more posts. And that’s it.”

I keep thinking about the Hello Win Column Fund. (Remember that? We’re doing this for charity! Wow!) Pledges are down from last year — and I do understand things are not the best for people economically these days. I just hope that you take time to give something to the cause that speaks the loudest to your heart.

I said this last year, and I still believe it to this day: the three hundred people around the world who took a day out of their lives to sit in front of a computer and post everything imagineable under the sun to make a difference in their world are heroes in every sense of the word. They hear people say that you can’t change the world, that the problem is just too big, and they refuse to believe it.

This is why I beat myself up for Blogathon year after year. I want to make a difference in the world. I refuse to let the status quo remain in place. I choose to act.

Bubbling Under

30 Jul

There are things I wonder about, in the night when I can’t sleep. Since that qualifies right now, here’s what’s percolating:

- When Will America Do Something About The FCC? It’s been three years since Janet Jackson’s boob saw the light of day, and we’re to the point now where FCC auditers are reviewing tapes of sporting events to listen for profanity — whether there’s a complaint against that broadcaster or not. It has gotten to the point where the prurient nature of conservative thought consistently oversteps the mandate of the people. The FCC is not answerable to any citizen, only to Congress. This has to stop, and the pendulum has to swing back in the other direction.

- Where Will The Next Real Music Star Come From? The last music that made a lasting impact — where the art endures more than a three-year shelf life — came from bands like Pearl Jam and Nirvana. Listening to Sara tonight reminded me how badly the world needs a legion of real musicians like her, or Aimee Mann, or Ben Folds, and quickly. When we’re settling for the next winner of “PopIdol/ American Idol / RockStar” to provide our next favorite musician, we should weep for the present, let alone the future.

- Where Will Our Next Royalty Come From? From the ’30s to the ’80s, America’s royalty came from Hollywood. For the last thirty years, sports have provided us with the idol worship. With free agency, spiraling salaries and the latest performance enhancing scandal stripping away the veneer of pro athletes, who’s left to look up to?

4 8 15 16 23 42

30 Jul

I briefly thought about doing another video post, but abandoned that idea quickly when I looked in the mirror and saw the dark circles and five-’o-clock shadow.

With three hours to go, I’m starting to feel like Richard was right this evening.

He described Blogathon participants, in the late hours of the event, as cast members from “Lost,” where instead of pushing “the button” every 108 minutes, we have to get the post online every 30 minutes.

At MacHenry’s tonight, when Marty was outside and I needed his phone to get my post and Sara’s online, I got really frantic… not at all unlike Locke when the counter in the Hatch got down close to zero.

Towards the end, I suppose we all feel a little slavish when it comes to posts. I know I do, at any rate.

‘…It’s Okay, I’m Taking It Back’

30 Jul

Utopia, along with a couple of other bloggers on IM, asked about ‘Clerks II.’ Their trepidation is wholly understandable — it would have been really easy to screw this up. For all of its faults (just ask any critic who wants to ride a high horse around Cannes), ‘Clerks‘ was a classic, because it caught the ennui that the grunge slacker-ass emitted from every pore. It was a black-and-white Waiting For Godot, with dick and fart jokes.

I have to say this in the interest of full disclosure: I also saw ‘Jersey Girl.’ It wasn’t that bad of a movie. What Kevin Smith tried to do was to have an honest modern love story, and he was still trying to feel his way through the storymaking process.

He took the lessons learned from ‘Jersey Girl’ and applied them to writing ‘Clerks II.’ The film is touching at points. Brazen in others. “Jesus, I can’t believe Smith put that in there!” at points. It equals Smith’s best film, by a long shot — and I LOVED Dogma.

So, don’t be scared. You can go see it with a light heart and eased brow. Just don’t have too many hang-ups about bestiality, like Joel Siegel.

Movies That Have No Business Being Shown On Broadcast Television: Clerks

30 Jul

[Look, it's late, and I'm highly pissed off. So, if the next post offends people, I do sincerely apologize. I needed to laugh.]

Theatrical Version:
Happy-Scrappy’ Mom: Excuse me, do you sell videos?
Randal Graves: Yeah, what’re you looking for?
‘Happy-Scrappy’ Kid: Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.
Randal Graves: Okay, hang on, I’m on the phone with the distribution house now, lemme make sure we got it. What was it called again?
‘Happy-Scrappy’ Mom: Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.
‘Happy-Scrappy’ Kid: Happy Scrappy!
‘Happy-Scrappy’ Mom: She loves it.
Randal Graves: Obviously. Yeah, hello, this is RST Video, customer number 4352, I need to place an order. Okay, I need one each of the following tapes: “Whispers in the Wind”, “To Each His Own”, “Put It Where It Doesn’t Belong”, “My Pipes Need Cleaning”, “All Tit-Fucking Volume 8″, “I Need Your Cock”, “Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers”, “My Cunt Needs Shafts”, “Cum Clean”, “Cum-Gargling Naked Sluts”, “Cum Buns III”, “Cumming in Socks”, “Cum On Eileen”, “Huge Black Cocks and Pearly White Cum”, “Girls Who Crave Cock”, “Girls Who Crave Cunt”, “Men Alone II: the KY Connection”, “Pink Pussy Lips”, and, uh, oh yeah, “All Holes Filled with Hard Cock”. Uh-huh… yeah… Oh, wait, and, what was that called again?

Televised Version: … (Scene was edited out entirely)

Barata Nikto

30 Jul

Trying to salvage the Radio Free Blogathon shift. However, I keep shaking the Magic Webcasting 8-Ball, and it keeps coming back with “Outlook Not So Good.” (And, really — who doesn’t listen to the Magic Webcasting 8-Ball?)

Reminded of a great quote from Klaatu in ‘The Day The Earth Stood Still’ — “I’m impatient with stupidity. My people have learned to live without it.”

The ridiculous thing is the complete lack of food I’ve had today. I had one chicken sandwich at around 6:40 pm, and a burger & fries at 1:30 am. The rest was pomegranite frappucinos, caramel macchiatos, and the occasional soda. How am I still alive? And how can I look so damned fat in the Sara video? (I know, I know… shut up about the belly.)

Even More Blogathon Karma

30 Jul

If you haven’t been surfing through the Amazing Blogathon Random-O-Tron, you likely haven’t ran across these wonderful, super-sexy, tres dangerous bloggers:

- plumbum
- Noelle
- Debbie at The Ice Palace
- Jono
- Inspiration Korner

Five hours to go…

Life Goes By Like A Breeze

30 Jul

I suppose it’s safe to say Mark Cuban’s not going to be playing our little reindeer game tonight. Sad, really. Maybe next year.

Big, BIG thanks to everyone who did play along, including Sara Hickman, Richard Hunter, and all of the gang from The Amigos. Really entertaining stuff all around.

Now that all of the dust has settled, I can focus on gearing up for the final shift of Radio Free Blogathon. I’ll be webcasting from 6:00 – 9:00 am EST, and you’ll want to listen in. There will be NO love ballads, no slow songs, and quite a few bloggers get to pimp their own work in the mix. Something for everyone. And it starts in 150 minutes.

We’ve kind of stalled out at $399 in pledges, and I had really high hopes for the late-night hours. We’ll see what the final totals are.

Time to crack that case of Red Bull I’ve got in the fridge. We’re in the “Last Mile.”

I promised you there would be one more bit of video…

The First Time I Heard My Music On The Radio (Sara Hickman)

30 Jul

my little blue car was physically hanging in there. i’d had a wreck at some point. i don’t remember when, but i’d left my car in neutral, and it had rolled down my driveway, across the street, with me running hysterically beside it, actually yelling “nooooooooooooo! stop!” as it smashed, albeit rather lazily, into a fire hydrant. the dent in the rear had me a bit down.

so, here i was, driving home, from someplace. i don’t remember where i was coming from. but i remember i was alone. and i remember…

…the sky was crystal clear blue, not a cloud in sight. the trees were beyond spring green, they were luminous. the street was summertime quiet, only the sound of my car’s engine putt-putting down the hard, and smoking hot, flat gray Dallas street. even the buzzing insects were napping, wings tucked in from the warm air…

i was two blocks from home. i could see my house. there it was. on the corner. i was thinking about how the place looked like an overgrown Grimm’s faerie tale, with weeds and tall grasses and vines taking over the front windows and brick. there was one peach tree. i was thinking about when the peaches would come, too.

and, then, right there, behind the wheel, on a day like no other, sitting in my blue car, driving down an ordinary street on an ordinary day, i heard it. for the first time. ever.

the sound of a simple acoustic guitar, the chords, clear and striking, ringing out from my radio. i turned the knob. in disbelief, i pulled my car over to the curb, idling under the shade of an oak.

“if we got stuck … in the middle of the sea….”

it was my guitar. it was my voice! it was my song.

“…could you think of things…to say to me…?”

and it was the song i had written for my father, about being a-drift at sea, just me and my dad, in a tiny fishing boat, lost…the searing, yellow sun bigger than life, beating us down…the two of us…alone..with nothing to say…the water lapping the wooden sides, our backs sunburned, our lips parched, our eyes…broken…questioning…

…and, now…the entire city of dallas could hear my heartache…yet, my voice seemed so…well, so OLD! so MATURE! and so smooth and delicate and confident…all at the same time…as if i was listening to someone else sing a beautiful song…as if someone else had created these chords and knew how to play the six strings so well…

“…and if there was only one drop of water on this tiny boat…”

i burst into tears… i couldn’t believe it… I WAS ON THE RADIO!

and then..the questions started to come: was anyone listening? i looked up, out of my happy sobbing, and looked up and down the street. there wasn’t a soul in sight! all the houses looked so empty, too. and it was a work hour! who in their right mind gets to listen to music at WORK!? these were the thoughts that temporarily swirled through my mind, and then i sent them away, far away.

“…would you gladly give it to me…?”

i was listening. and i was hearing the end result of a dream. and this was a dream of fruition…by taking myself to a studio, laying down the song, and walking the finished vinyl into KERA radio, hand delivering a copy, where chris douridas had decided to give it a spin.

that was in 1988 or 1989. i’m not sure what year, but the vision of the day is undeniable. a tangible audio-visual tattoo on my brain. my forever moment.

[Sara's blogging for Invisible Children at ZenLala.com - go pledge now.]

The First Time I Went Scuba Diving (Erika Eeds)

30 Jul

It was paradise, plain and simple. My family and I were vacationing in the U.S. Virgin Islands, St. Thomas to be specific. I was probably 11 which would have made my brother 13. The place was absolutely beautiful. Lush tropical vegetation, plenty of hills, cerulean waters. Our hotel was situated so that it afforded a spectacular view of the bay. My brother, Chad, and I were just old enough for our parents to be comfortable giving us a little independence.

One morning my family and I took the puddle jumper over to St. John, which is part of the British Virgin Islands. It was just different enough to be funky. Different money, driving on the opposite side of the road, etc. We rented mopeds and tooled around the island all morning. My dad and I crashed and my mom lost her key, but all in all, it was a lovely day.

That afternoon, we hopped a ferry to Tortola, another of the British isles. As we strolled along the beachfront, we decided we couldn’t pass up the opportunity to snorkel in the impossibly blue water. Right at that moment, a man popped his head out of a doorway and asked, “Hey, you guys wanna go scuba diving?” His name was Rick and he was straight out of Woodstock. Curly, sun bleached blond hair, too small Speedo, flip-flops, sun glasses, and a really nice tan. We immediately accepted figuring that if snorkeling was good, scuba diving would be better. Rick escorted us into his shop where he and another equally hippie fellow began the process of outfitting us with scuba gear.

Scuba diving is not a particularly difficult sport, but it does require a certain grasp of the physics involved. Basically, air volume gets smaller under pressure and expands when the pressure lessens. If you hold your breath while you ascend, your lungs will explode. Of course, there are several ways to die while scuba diving, which is doubtlessly one of the reasons it requires a license. In 1982 you couldn’t get that license until you were 14. To Rick, however, these were minor setbacks. In place of a certification class, we watched a 30 minute video from which we gleaned the fundamentals: Never hold your breath and don’t come up too fast. This was very much a “you get the picture” type of thing. With these new pearls of wisdom fresh in our minds, we grabbed our gear, hopped onto Rick’s boat and set off.

On our way to our destination, we made a quick stop by Salt Island, a tiny slip of land with a shack and a picnic table next to the pier. My brother asked Rick, “What’s on Salt Island?” Rick answered, “You’re looking at it, pal.” Now I can’t be certain, but looking back, I’d be willing to bet some contraband may have exchanged hands.

After that, we proceeded to our dive site. At the time, I had no idea that we were bound for one of the world’s premier shipwrecks, the R.M.S. Rhone. You may know this wreck from the movie The Deep. It’s where all the underwater scenes were shot and where Lou Gossett, Jr. has his unfortunate encounter with a large green moray eel. However, you boys are more likely to remember Jacquelyn Bissett’s sheer wet t-shirt as she’s coming out of the water.

With Rick’s help, we donned our gear. It’s hot and heavy, there’s a lot of it and you need every single bit. We aired up our buoyancy compensating devices and made the big splash. As we followed the buoy line down to the big shipwreck, I began to realize we were in a completely different world. The water was so clear, you could see for 100 feet or more. There was no current, nothing to disrupt the serenity of the experience. I was enrapt. The shipwreck was situated upright on the bottom offering a spectacular glimpse of how she had appeared in life. It will sound trite to refer to it as a watery grave, but that’s exactly how it seemed. The Rhone was lost during a storm, so there was virtually no damage to the structure of the ship. Her guns were still mounted on the deck, her mast was still intact, even the crow’s nest was still in place.

I spent my first open water dive in 80 feet of water exploring this magnificent spectacle. I was weightless, completely self-contained. There was no sound except that of our breathing, which sounds rather like Darth Vader, incidentally. We explored the Rhone from bow to stern and even penetrated a few feet below decks. So many amazing creatures had made the ship their home. Her surface was entirely covered with sponges and coral. The resident fish seemed oblivious to us, even the big barracuda hanging out at the crow’s nest.

These days, my parents and I take dive trips at least once a year. We see amazing things with each excursion into the ocean’s depths. I am every bit as comfortable at 100 feet deep as I am at sea level. I am also an amateur underwater photographer. Looking back, I would have loved to have had a camera with me on the Rhone.

My brother, however, never developed the zeal for diving that we did. Even in casual conversation, the subject of scuba diving elicits such disparate responses. A person is either dying to try it or the very idea freaks them out.

To this day, diving is one of my very favorite things. I am now a Master Scuba Diver with certifications in Rescue Diving, Search and Recovery, Compass Navigation, Reef Fish Identification, and of course, Wreck Diving.